Giving and Receiving Feedback

Navigating Your Career

How to deliver feedback that drives growth — and receive it without defensiveness

by Ana Eisenhauer | 30 April 2026

Feedback is one of the most valuable tools in business and career development. It offers a window into what you’re doing well, where you can improve, and how others experience your work. And yet, people are often hesitant to give it. Why is that?

I used to be terrified of giving feedback — especially early in my career as a people leader. I wanted my team to trust me, and I worried that pointing out areas for improvement would damage that trust.

Over time, I learned something important: yes, poorly delivered feedback can strain relationships. But not giving feedback at all can be far more damaging in the long run. It can quietly limit someone’s growth — without them ever knowing why.

I often say, “You can’t improve if you don’t know what you’re doing wrong.”
“Wrong” may sound harsh, but what I really mean is: what could be improved. It’s less catchy that way — so I keep using the word “wrong.”

The key is to see feedback for what it really is: a gift. An opportunity for someone to learn, grow, and become more effective.

Giving Feedback

Giving feedback is not one-size-fits-all. The same principles apply in most situations — but how you apply them depends on your relationship with the person receiving it.

Fundamenttally, effective feedback comes down to three elements:

Understanding your position of power
Setting the stage for how the feedback will be delivered
Closing the conversation with a clear path forward

When You Are in a Position of Authority

The same principles apply — but the power dynamic changes everything. If you are someone’s manager or at a higher level in the hierarchical chain, feedback can feel intimidating to the person receiving it. They may worry about consequences, even if that’s not your intention. Creating psychological safety is critical.

Establish a safe space

Approach the conversation as a trusted advisor, not as “the boss.” Even small details — like how you initiate the conversation — matter. Instead of saying, “Can you come to my office for a few minutes?”, which can trigger anxiety, try something more neutral and inviting: “I noticed something during your presentation that sparked a thought. Do you have a few minutes to talk about it?”

Frame it around growth

Make it clear that your intention is to help them improve — not to criticize. If it’s a suggestion, position it as perspective based on your experience. If a mistake was made, address it directly, but with support. Sharing your own past mistakes can make the conversation more relatable and less intimidating.

Check the pulse

Pause during the conversation and invite their perspective. Say things like “Does this make sense to you?” or “Do you see it the same way?” This helps ensure your message is being understood as intended and gives them space to process in real time.

Help them think forward

Guide them toward application. Ask questions like: “What would you do differently next time?” or “Does this change how you would approach it?”
Don’t force immediate answers — sometimes people need time to reflect. At its core, this is about showing that your intent is support, not judgment.

When Giving Feedback to a Peer

With peers, the stakes are different — but perception becomes more important. You’re not operating from authority, so how your feedback is interpreted depends heavily on your relationship.

Offer, don’t impose

Rather than jumping straight into feedback, create an opening. You don’t have to use the word “feedback,” which can trigger defensiveness. Something as simple as “I had a thought about that — would you be open to it?” can make a big difference.

Keep it conversational

Share your perspective casually and without judgment. Frame it as a suggestion, not a correction. If you’ve had a similar experience, share it. This helps position your input as supportive rather than critical.

Be mindful of how you’re perceived

This is especially important with peers. You don’t want to come across as a “know-it-all” or as someone trying to assert superiority. Know your audience, and adjust your tone based on your relationship.

Follow-up can remain optional — offer support, but leave the next step to them.

When Giving Feedback to Your Boss

This is often the most delicate situation. The principles don’t change — but the risk does.

Understand your boss’s openness

Not all leaders are equally receptive to feedback. It may take time to build enough trust to have these conversations. And even when feedback is requested, proceed thoughtfully — sometimes people ask for feedback but aren’t fully ready to hear it.

Use questions to guide the conversation

Rather than making direct statements, frame your feedback as questions. Instead of saying, “I think we should do this differently,” try: “What would happen if we approached it this way?” This approach has two advantages:

It reduces your risk if your assumption is incorrect
It creates shared ownership of the idea

Asking for Feedback

Feedback is not just something we give — it’s something we should actively seek.

Often, the biggest barrier to growth is not a lack of ability, but a lack of awareness. That said, people are often uncomfortable giving feedback. So if you want honest, useful input, you need to make it easy for them.

Prepare the person

Don’t surprise someone with a request for feedback. Give them context.
“I’d really appreciate your perspective on how that presentation went — would you be open to sharing your thoughts after the meeting?” If you plan on using an electronic survey, let them know that they will be receiving it. Don’t let that survey hit their inbox by surprise.

Be genuine and open

Explain why you’re asking and what you hope to learn. Let them know you value their candor.

Don’t get defensive

This is critical. Even if the feedback is difficult to hear, resist the urge to explain or justify. Your reaction will determine whether people feel safe giving you feedback in the future.

Offer confidentiality when possible

In some cases, anonymity can help people be more honest — so take advantage of digital tools such as surveys, or solicit help from a neutral party to collect anonymous feedback.

Show that you listened

Take time to reflect on what you heard. If you disagree, that’s fine — but process it before responding. The most important thing is showing that you value the input. If you ask for feedback and don’t act on it, people will stop offering it.

What Stays True Across All Situations

Regardless of who you’re giving feedback to, a few principles consistently apply:

DO give the feedback

Avoiding feedback may feel easier in the moment — especially when the message is uncomfortable — but it prevents growth. When people don’t know what to improve, they are likely to repeat the same patterns. Silence doesn’t protect relationships; over time, it can quietly undermine them.

Be timely

Feedback is most effective when the situation is still fresh. Waiting too long can dilute the message or make it harder for the person to connect your feedback to a specific behavior. Timely feedback allows for quicker reflection, adjustment, and improvement.

Focus on facts, not labels

Describe what happened, not what you think it means. Saying “You were unprepared” can feel personal and subjective, while “You didn’t have the data ready when the question came up” is specific and actionable. The more concrete you are, the easier it is for the other person to understand and respond.

Listen

Feedback should be a conversation, not a monologue. Give the other person space to react, clarify, and share their perspective. You may learn something you didn’t initially see, and it also increases the likelihood that your message will be received as intended.

Keep the focus on development, not judgment

The goal of feedback is not to evaluate the person — it’s to help them improve. When the conversation is framed around growth and future actions, it becomes more constructive and less threatening. People are far more open to feedback when they feel supported, not judged.

Feedback is a gift

Feedback is one of the most powerful — and most underused — tools we have. It requires courage to give it, and maturity to receive it. Done well, it strengthens relationships, builds trust, and accelerates growth. Avoided, it creates blind spots that can quietly limit someone’s potential.

At its core, feedback is not about criticism. It’s about clarity. And while not everyone will be ready to hear it, that shouldn’t stop you from offering it with the right intent.

Because in the end, the people who grow the most are not the ones who avoid feedback — but the ones who learn how to use it.